Pugsley’s frosty and sting free review of the Oumier VLS RDA

I hate wasps….fucking pointless annoying sick jokes of nature that are basically….nothing more…….than dicks.

You see….I have a bad history with the evil little bastards, somewhere…in Waspville…there is a big poster of my face, and on it, in large bold letters..are the words…’Kill this motherfucker at any given opportunity’….and here’s how I know that to be a fact….yes…it’s pointless story time….you lucky, lucky people…(sigh)

As a child, many moons ago… I was riding my BMX through a forest with my friends, and somehow happened upon the mother of all wasp gangster families, the Peaky Blinders of the insect world if you will…who saw fit to adorn me with a lovely wasp onesie…..stabbing me no less than 12 times with their angry poisonous pointy penis’s….one of which…..was right on the nutsack, oh yeah…let that sink in (that wasp certainly did) …. thankfully, as my ever growing tribe of offspring can attest to…the damage did not appear to be permanent,  I just stank of TCP for a month and acquired the nickname of ‘Willy One Bollock’…..due to my lopsided and overly bulbous fleshy pendulum…….kids can be so cruel….

And let us not forget the time I was rudely awoken at 4am, whilst in bed…alone…recovering from reconstructive spinal surgery, by a noise that I can only describe as ‘the gentle humming of death’ ….you see, as misfortune would have it, it turns out that at certain times of the year, leaving your window open and light on, is an open invite for Waspy ‘The Knife’ McCuntfuck and his cronies to decide that ‘Hey!…..Your room looks decidedly warmer than out here, THEREFORE we shall share your cozy man cave for the evening…..if you would be so fucking kind…guvnor’, my answer was a resounding ‘NO!….You may NOT! You ill mannered stripy sadistic reprobates!’…but seeing as I was practically paralyzed, the only options available to me at that time were either to accept this hostile takeover, while I lay there and slowly wept, uncontrollably shitting in my pantaloons….or drag my crippled carcass along the bedroom floor….whilst I slowly wept….. and still shitting in my pantaloons….kicking the door shut behind me, and sleeping on the landing….covered in shit and tears…..I chose the latter…..allowing those vengeful gate crashing fuck nuggets to while away the hours eating my munchies, playing on my Playstation and generally treating my room like a seedy backstreet watering hole….I don’t even want to think about what they probably did in my bed…..no sir…..I do not like wasps…and nowadays when I see one in the house….I tend to act…..irrationally…..

Which is more than likely the reason why, when asked if I wanted to review the Wasp Nano RDA, I politely and calmly replied…..”NOIDONOTWANTTOPUTAFUCKINGWASPINORAROUNDMYMOUTHAREYOUFUCKINGCRAZY??!!!……”

“Okay well…..that’s slightly irrational (and weird) but….they make another one….that’s not called the Wasp…..would you like to look at that one instead?”

“Oh….okay…..cool”…..I replied…and so here we are…..finally …..and as vaguely as ever……

Read morePugsley’s frosty and sting free review of the Oumier VLS RDA

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