And a very forthcoming and quite frankly frivolous welcome to you my cloud billowing mentalists on this oddly bizarre occasion when I take on the arduous task of reviewing something that at first glance can only conjure up the following reaction ……
“What the actual fuck…??”
And deservedly so, for today I gingerly present to you, with one eye brow raised, courtesy of my friends at http://www.cvapor.com/ ….The Kangertech Frankenperfumedrinkshatsquonkerstein……I mean Dripez….sorry..
Picture the scene from the movie Apollo 13, all the scientists gather round while one guy throws a box of gubbins on the table and say’s “we need to make a filter, out of this pile of crap…go”
Well it happened at Kangertech R&D, they got drunk…obviously…and the office clown grabbed these…
and said the immortal words……….”watch this shit” (hic) …..”gimme”
10 minutes of banging, sawing, welding and fettling later and…
That….my dear friends…is a…..a………actually does it even have a name??..I mean it’s not a squonker? there’s no bottle to squonk? …we absolutely cannot call it a squirter, although for this review I did make the mistake of searching for ‘Squirter gifs’ ….not a mistake I’ll make again…(shudders)
So I have in fact named it, the Frankenperfumedrinkshatsquonkerstein, catchy eh…It is an 80 watt, single battery, single coil, Temp control, all in one, it’s actually up-gradable to 100w but for the life of me I cannot work out how to do that, I found the software, couldn’t find the firmware upgrade…..did work out how to do this though..
It’s a beast of a thing, fugly to some, but i tell you this, when they asked me if I would like to review it
I just blurted out “Abso-fucking-lutely”
This is right up my street, I LOVE anything that is different, quirky, unique and this is most definitely that, at the time of writing I know of no one else that is bringing out a Frankenperfumedrinkshatsquonkerstein, Unlike the RDTA box concept which as far as I can tell is being copied by everyone, this…everyone is leaving well alone which means 2 things, firstly, you’ll never forget it, it will go down as one of the most unique Mods in vaping history and secondly, any ‘collector’ will absolutely need one.
Well Leo, Let me enlighten you, being a long time sufferer of ‘shiny syndrome’ I can tell you that if you have a vape collection you will have at least one of everything, you have to..it’s the law, because ‘that thing’ might be the best vape experience you have ever had and without it you might be missing out, ONLY fellow sufferers will understand that and seeing as no one else has brought this concept out this is your only choice of a Frankenperfumedrinkshatsquonkerstein, and when asked by your vape peers if you bought one you will absolutely need to be able to reply
It has a USP, and a USP these days is what sales are all about, without one you will drown in a sea of copies and be forgotten as quickly as a …….erm…….yeah….what was i talking about again..??
So is it any good?…well…actually, yes, yes it is, I’ve been sucking on it for 2 days now and it hasn’t skipped a beat, it holds a 15ml glass bottle which is more than any RDTA box, it’s not even a special bottle, you can carry a 15ml bottle around with you and just swap them over as long as it is the same size and thread, not that you’d want to take it out…I mean lets be honest, if ever there was a desktop Mod, this is it, it’s not that it’s too big, overall it’s a bit smaller than a Smok Xcube II , just a bit thicker, but look at it….would you want that in your pocket? I wouldn’t, not with that pipe wrapped around it, that’s just asking for trouble, not that there is anything wrong with a desktop mod, I mean I wouldn’t take a Maxo out with me anywhere either, and a nice Stabilised wood hybrid wouldn’t ever go through my front door, I just think on this occasion, there is just simply too much going on there to risk having it stuffed in your jeans pocket and being pulled out every ten minutes.
But just look at it…..
It may not be to everyone tastes but I think it is a beautiful looking device, it’s as heavy as it looks, it’s well finished, it’s as solid as anything I have owned so far and the concept is very simple, you squirt the bottle, your liquid goes down the pipe, through the side of the RDA and squirts all over your coil like
Yeah…be thankful i used that gif…….
The 80w is enough to give you a decent plume and the flavour is better than that of the RDTA box I tried last week, it does what it intended to do and with a 15ml reserve it’ll keep squirting all night …(stop it…I’m really trying here ok)
The plus points don’t stop there though, just look at the spares you get..
You get all the usual seals, coils and screws etc, but also a whole new squirter and a stainless tank for your RDA should the glass one break, that’s impressive by any standards and I tip my cap to Kangertech for that one.
The RDA like I said earlier is a single coil affair, it kinda needs to be really with the single battery and it works perfectly well, I also love the finger screws, no tools required..
It’s a shallow well, doesn’t need to be anything else the liquid is in the bottle, the air flow is perfectly adequate for throwing plumes or tasting nirvana, I personally use it for my ‘Cobweb Clearer’ menthol, it’s something I need on hand at home at all times and the battery will run out well before the bottle will, it’s PERFECT for that.
More points to consider are the astounding amount of tweaks you can make with the kangertech software, it has 5 memory settings and each one can be completely custom to your specs, you remember the ‘user’ setting that Ijoy employ?…well on this software you can customise every setting with a ‘graphic equaliser’ that far out does the ijoy, it is truly impressive what you can change through this to personalise your Frankenperfumedrinkshatsquonkerstein….(oh yeah..I am totally sticking with the name)
So what do I not like about it?….well I don’t like the position of the fun button, it feels unnatural to have it on the front instead of on the side although it does not particularly become an issue when you are using it, I would also much prefer it to be twin battery powered and duel coiled, that’s just my preference though, I am a high power user and although 80 (or 100) watt is ample I would kinda appreciate a bit more on tap should the mood take me as the overall build of this device seems solid enough to be able to stick a car battery in it.
So to wrap up, I applaud Kangertech for having the size of scrotum required to fit the balls that bringing out something like this needs, it was obviously a risk, it is outside the box, it is not the norm, it is as absurd as a mod can be and yet the designer more than likely walked away afterwards like
It is my honest opinion that the Frankenperfumedrinkhatsquonkerstein is a well delivered concept, it’s a one off, for now, and if you are an avid collector I would advise you to get on this groovy acid bus and ride it to wherever it may take you, have it sat on your desk and smile like Jack Nicholson every time you use it because that is what it is,
Mental, and it absolutely gives the finger to conformity.
And that girls and boys, floats my boat every time.
So with that i give you the tech specs..because..well…it’s my job, I mean it’s not like I want to….
- Casing: Zinc Alloy
- Height: 57.5mm
- Length: 39mm
- Width: 31mm
- Weight: 270g (exclude 18650 cell)
- Output watt: 5W to 80W
- Charging: Micro USB, DC 5V at 1A
- Resistance: 0.1 – 2.5Ohm
But you might need it for some perverse reason.
You can add one of these unique devices
to your collection for currently around £40 here..(around £65 elsewhere)
Yours Eternally Vapeful