Steampugs Open All Hours ‘Top Picks’ shop tab now live

G-G-G-G-Granville feh-feh-feh fetch me wallet they’ve only gone and opened a lin-lin-lin-link shop on that bloody vaping review website ste-ste-ste-steampunk….pugs…..pugpunk….steamypoos…..pinkpigs…..ooh…I dunno….stupid bl-bl-bl-bloody name anyway….

 

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Welcome aboard the Steampugs train!…..ALL ABOOOOARD…(chuggachuggachugga)

Steampugs Vapeology Reviews – A….shall we say… ‘lighthearted’ approach to reviewing the world of Vapeology.

Once aboard, sit back, and take in the sights and soun….oh no wait there’s no sounds….and to be honest the sights are more often than not quite…quite mad so….maybe it’s best you just sit back and read the meandering mumbling’s of a madman with an obsession for inhaling desserts.

 

“Step inside! Hello! We’ve a most amazing show
You’ll enjoy it all we know
Step inside! Step inside!”

 

Pugsley’s solidly unexpected review of the Smoant Charon 218 TC Mod

The Charon ……The ferryman of Hades who carries souls of the newly deceased across the rivers Styx and Acheron that divided the world of the living from the world of the dead…What’s wrong with pleasant names??…..why always dark mythology?….It hardly paints a pretty picture of this fluffy world of ours now does it, you could have…..the Smoant Kevin…..or maybe the Smok Susan…they’re nice names, unoffensive…..but no, people want dark and mysterious because it’s ‘cool’……which is precisely why when I get to design my own mod (never gonna happen) the dual 26650 stacked PWM 30mm ‘Baton’ ..I shall be calling it ‘Satans 3rd leg’…and you’ll be able to suck that motherfucker to hell and back….and yes….that’s also the tagline….it’s a winner…donations towards this enterprise would be very welcome.

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Pugsley’s scaly skinned fire breathing (ish) review of the HCigar VT75 Color

Let’s be honest….most stories could do with the odd dragon thrown in for good measure, maybe not shit…I think there was enough shit in the last review’s story….but dragons….I might be able to muster with the help of this months offering on the vape table. No…I’m not reviewing a dragon….nor am I interviewing Daenerys Targaryen (totally googled how to spell that) ….although given the choice between the two…I would definitely go with the latter….ah yeah..

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Pugsley’s dogged return and review of the rabid Desire Mad Dog RDTA Mech Kit

‘It’s a pink dildo’

First time ever that that’s sprung into my mind when opening the latest vape offering sent to me for review, I mean I expect this kind of behaviour from Gearbest but I always thought Heavengifts were a tad more respectable…

‘oh it’s a Mod’ ….I thought….way too late as it turns out…..best wash it thoroughly before I put into my mouth (again…that’s what’s she said)

And I should really fix that lock on the bathroom door…..I feel such a fool…

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Pugsley’s triple hearted war-crafty review of the CoilArt Azeroth RTA

I’m gonna start with a little love story…..A good few years ago, one crisp Autumnal morning, I was awoken by the sound of…absolutely nothing, And I soon came to realise that I had indeed forgotten to set my alarm clock leaving me almost an hour late for work….that’s right…’clock’ ….like I said…years ago…anyway, That was strike one,  I rushed out of the house and decided to cut across the park and as I marched across the field like a man with purpose I suddenly felt something a bit….’soft’…underfoot, whilst not slowing down any I turned my head to look at the floor behind me convinced I’d see a pile of freshly baked doggy bum nuggets with my footprint planted right in the centre….but while looking backwards…and walking briskly forwards…and before I could finish the thought ‘Oh good…it was just a pile of leav…. WOH!’….I slipped in an actual particularly mountainous and moist ‘Elephant’ turd …twisting my knee…and leaving me splayed out on my back writhing in agony clutching my…what felt like….shattered kneecap…..strike 2……    “Are you OK?…..oh hi Pugs” ….said an almost angelic voice above me….”Oh…hey” I replied to a girl walking her dog that I happened to have pulled at my friends party a couple of weeks previous …A girl I might add that I had grown to have an unhealthy infatuation with……..and if there was any chance of this being a lucky romantic encounter you often see in the movies….that chance was soon dashed with the next words out of her mouth……”You have shit in your hands…..” I looked down..and sure enough, there was a three foot smear of shit up the outside of leg up to my knee…which I was clutching firmly with both hands…….gargantuan strike 3….

Strangely….I never saw that girl again, but that clusterfuck of a morning all those years ago has stayed with me ever since, and every time I hear someone say ‘Bad things happen in threes’…I can almost smell those shit sodden leaves and bitter humiliation all over again…and as a result of that….I have had a nagging fear of the number 3 ever since…that’s right…I’m a massive weirdo with Triphobia….I mean I was just about getting my head around using 3 batteries without the fear of blowing my face off….and I also have my third child on the way….clearly going to be the spawn of Satan…so I’m working on it…but generally….if it’s a three…it’s going to be shit.

Yes….this is a vape review…all will come clear…..if you’re looking for sense you’re in the wrong town buddy…

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Pugsley’s full fat, plucked and tri-powered review of the Think Vape Finder DNA 250

I love animals….let’s just put that out there….not in a sexy way you understand, that’d be a whooole different blog on a verrry different website…but on a whole, me and animals get along very well….which leads me to some mixed thoughts when I see something wrapped in a dead animal purely for cosmetic reasons, In this day and age it’s kinda unnecessary and borderline heartless…..it almost makes you wonder….what kind of person comes up with these ideas…..

I think there’s a dark corner of Shenzhen that deals in the unnecessary, A stealth company managed by Cruella De Vape and her cronies who specialise in exotic murder and distribution to the surrounding vape industry, and one of these companies in particular….fucking loves it.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m no vegetarianised vegan yogurt weaving tree shagging hippy, But when I see the words ‘Elephant Skin’ on the side of a mod box….it gives me a shiver, albeit one I soon forgot…unlike the Elephant by all accounts…who apparently never do that…..well…..you wouldn’t would you…..and if you bought the Think Vape Finder 167…I’d keep your eyes open when walking down the street using it……

And now that Elephants…..unlike their stature….are a little ‘thin on the ground’….it would seem that Cruella and her cronies are branching out in search of other unsuspecting members of the animal kingdom for their luxurious exotic skins to adorn their clients high powered vaping devices….I mean….where will it end I can’t help but ask myself….

Hmm….that old chestnut….

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Pugsley’s wee beastly review of the Envii Loch Ness mod & Artisan RTA

Do you believe in Unicorns?

When asked the above question…most of us would reply “No….don’t be a cockwomble”…(except my Mrs actually…the things she believes in are actually astounding…..and worrying)…but one man, well…..he had a different answer….

“No……but I can make one”

2015….doesn’t seem that long ago really does it, but in Vape terms…. well….I remember what I was vaping on 2 years ago and it wasn’t pretty….looked like a skinny light sabre but man I thought it was cool…not quite so cool to a certain gentleman called Jacob Giverink however, Jacob was a high end Mod enthusiast who decided to build his very own device to compete with the top shelf mods of the time…..I doubt even he foresaw the events that followed.

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Pugsley’s tag team review of the Vandy Vapes Kylin RTA & Icon RDA

Pretty much sums up the general reaction from the vaping community with regards to what I was given for review last week, I was sceptical to say the least, for me…I thought I had already found my ‘best’ RTA with the Ammit dual….but this new kid in school has caused quite the stir….even has it’s very own …very active…Facebook group…dedicated just to this manufacturer….I mean that’s fame right there. However……not one to do things conventionally, I have decided…for the first time in my highly successful reviewing career ..(pffft…sure) …to do a special on the Manufacturer and review TWO of their latest offerings AT THE SAME TIME..(sarcastic gasp)…I know…fucking crazy right…but that’s just me….life on the edge….pure rock n roll.

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Pugsley’s heavy doody review of the Voopoo Drag 157w Box Mod

I can’t for the life of me even imagine what thought process goes on when the Chinese sit down and discuss names for stuff…..don’t get me wrong…I love it….I think it’s brilliant…I mean take the Wanko RDA for example….are you even remotely serious, Oh  you’ll certainly remember it but definitely not for the right reasons…However….On this occasion, a couple of people sat down a few years ago and had a conversation regarding naming their new venture, a brainstorm if you will…..and at some point in that conversation….after a few too many Saki’s I would imagine…someone said…or did….something that gave one of them a real light bulb moment….

“THAT’S IT VOO!!”…..(I’m presuming that was his name)

And so it was….

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Pugsley’s over confident review of the Geek Vape Peerless RDA

Over confidence…..the kind that makes your skin not only crawl…but suddenly fall from your bones like a slow cooked spare rib, saying you’re the best at whatever it is you do before you even do it in my opinion is a quality only seen in the  Kanye’s of this world…..I mean there’s only one person Kanye loves am I right…

So when an RDA lands on my desk simply named …’Peerless’…..and it’s an RDA I know very little about..well…I get a similar reaction to the one I get when I hear Kanye tell us who he thinks he is…again..

You see there are an abundance of top shelf RDA’s in my collection, RDA’s that deserve to be there, RDA’s I don’t particularly want to upset….(edit:-he totally talks to them when no ones around)….then this cocky newcomer kicks the door in professing to be unmatched, unequalled, unique and unsurpassed…..and well….before I have even opened the box the first words in my mind are….”I’ll be the fucking judge of that”…..Peerless indeed….

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Pugsley’s Wolf in Wolf’s clothing review of the CoilArt Mage Box Tricker Kit

“Please be good please be good please good please be good” (tares open the courier bag like a 4 year old unwrapping their birthday present)……This was me last week when ‘that’ vape mail arrived…..despite the run of amazing products I have had to review lately this I was looking forward to the most……This….was love at first site when I saw it online months ago..

Nothing else had as many hits on my website shop as this device….every time I check my site stats there it is sat at the top of the hit list every single day…without fail…the interest in this little kit is nothing short of staggering, And from someone such as myself who looks at most of today’s advanced vape devices like a cave man would look at an iPad I can’t help but be slightly confused by the attention…even from myself…over something as equally simple as I am…so when asked ‘why is everyone checking this device out?’…..the truth is..

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